Joy Luck Club

I really enjoyed this movie, I personally love mother daughter movies. They are really underrated, each mother's back story was heartbreaking. I feel like I didn't really like Lindo and Waverly's stories as much as I liked everyone else. They really did remind me of my aunt and cousins, their relationship is purely based on the daughters achievements.My aunt just wants to brag about her daughters, what they do in school or whatever award they get in school. It's kind of frustrating to see someone do that. Mother's cannot live through their daughters. What I did notice, was that all these mother daughter relationships are all kind of common now. What I am trying to say is that all mothers are either competitive with their child, kind and loving, maybe detached from them. When Ying-ying talking about passing her sadness onto Lena that broke my heart. But she was still looking out for her daughter, she was doing her best to point her in the right direction. I actually really loved that part, because even though Lena was telling her mother she was happy Ying-ying knew. She knew that her daughter was unhappy, the balance in that home was unlucky. I was really happy with each story, they were full of emotion, and relatable moments. Every mothers wish is to give their daughter the things they never had, it reminds me of my mom. She is always trying to motivate me, and reassure me with my decisions. Mom seems to know everything, she is the only person who knows your feelings better than you do. I know that is not the case for many mother daughter relationships, but that's how I feel like I wish it was for everyone. One thing I did not like in this movie was when Lindo didn't tell June what the letter said and that her sisters didn't know that their mother had passed. Or when the older women would speak and June didn't understand. That was a bit unfair that they had that ability to talk about things in front of her without understanding. I think the best moment was the end when June gets to China and meets her older sisters. And tells them that she was there to bring them their mother's hopes. That was a big thing for me, because my own mother is always talking about how she wants her children to carry her hopes and dreams. All her hopes and dreams are about wanting her children to be successful and most of all to be genuinely happy about their lives and the decisions they make.

Found poem

Jealousy is a poison that kills you from the inside.

It clouds your mind, and heart. Blocking out what you

think is right. Creating an insecure image of yourself. I wish

I had their confidence, their knowledge, their positive view on life.

Onion Peel

If Jenny wasn't fictional this would have been my message to her!

Honestly I'm not really pleased with how this book is going so far. I want desperately for someone to give Mary a chance. I know that during that time women were not allowed to go to college to become doctors. I feel like Mary craves more than being a midwife, she knows she has the ability to become something more. The fact that even her mother isn't empowering her pains me. I think about times with my own mother, she is always trying to empower me to do more challenging things. But then I see Amelia Sutter just saying 'oh better stick to being a midwife'... I know she is just looking out for her daughter. Back during the Civil War I know that being a doctor was a 'boys club' thing, but Mary had the qualifications for it.

What would have happened if I came across Jenny

She had this burning passion to gain more knowledge on the human body, she also kept on trying to get into that college. It really irritated me when they denied her, it just makes my stomach turn. Mary deserves so much better, I just want for someone to notice her talent. I know that she has a bit of a temper, but who can blame her! Mary is surrounded by people who want to keep her in her place, with a 'woman's job'. Mary's sister Jenny really bothers me, she's not a real sister. Jenny is such a jerk towards her twin, honestly it makes me so mad. As you know I have an older sister, she might be five years older than me but we are as thick as thieves. We support each other in everything, and help one another. I tried to imagine my sister and myself in Mary and Jenny's place. Let's just say I almost had a panic attack, how could someones twin treat them so poorly? This is the exact quote that really created me extremely passionate hatred for Jenny, "Mary, you have everything. Do you see? I'm a shadow. I haunt our house, I watch you go off wherever it is you go. You understand things. Women respect you. They come and ask for you. ...Thomas married me. Not you". Wow! Come on, you are jealous of your sister going out and doing a job she enjoys? So you steal her man, then marry him?! In my eyes, what Jenny should have done was ask her sister to teach her what she knows. Why does there always have to be a man that gets in the middle of everything. It just breaks my heart, I feel like Jenny just wants to get back at Mary. That's super immature of her though, my sister and I always talk things through. Mary and Jenny don't communicate. I'm just so mad that Jenny had to turn this into something else...then she finds out she's pregnant? There she finally got her shining moments, marrying her sisters first love and being pregnant with that man's child. This whole books feels like a  down hill roller costar, hopefully that doesn't last for long. I feel like it has been an unhappy slope, I just keep getting more and more frustrated. I adore Mary so much, I want her to be my sister. I want to take her from the novel, bring her home and treat her the way she deserves. Then she can finally have good sisters! Or actually I would also love for her to join that girl gang. The one with  Jane and the Rivers sisters, I think it would be a perfect fit!

Under Pressure

           Recently in many relationships I have taken on the role of care taker/ therapist, big sister, mother hen, or whatever you would like to call it. From a young age I had always wanted to help people, especially my friends. I didn't really expect it to turn out like this, it's not with one specific friendship that this has happened in multiple ones. It was really hard because although I wanted to be that shoulder to lean on, it felt more like I was being used. I was like some sort of emotional outlet for them, when they needed to dump hard problems on someone and ask for advice I was the person they came to. They asked for advice, and this might seem weird coming form me because it's 'not humble', but I give decent advice. They all seem to need something from me all the time and I couldn't always offer it. I tend to stress over other people's feelings more than my own, which is pretty unhealthy, but It got to the point where I didn't care about my own feelings because i was worrying about other people being happy.

        How i felt while trying to comfort my friends when I got emotional!
(Don't worry this is trying to brighten the mood, it's supposed to
now tat its all over!!)

           I never really gave myself a break, and so much was expected out of me from my friends because they would come to me so often with problems. I didn't think about my own well being because I was only thinking about my friends. They all knew I was working on trying to be less of a pushover, I started to feel like they were taking advantage of me. I didn't really feel as happy as I used to after I realized what was going on. I felt less like myself everyday after that, I was just giving help and advice to people who wouldn't even listen to it. At some point I was really being treated as more of a therapist than a friend. It was just rough all around, I felt like if I stopped helping my friends they wouldn't want to hang out with me anymore. Which seems silly, but growing up with some of my friends none of them really seemed to take notice to me unless I was able to offer something to them. I just really wanted them to be my friends, but that's not what makes a good friendship at all. I couldn't even find away to tell them that I no longer wanted to be this 'therapist and emotional outlet' I just felt like I was stuck. I was being suffocated in the middle of all of their problems. I couldn't solve them, I couldn't even solve my own problems.
           As you may already know I am a very sensitive person, well scratch that. I am really overly sensitive, and extremely emotional. So the more they told me harsh and emotional problems, I would breakdown. I was so embarrassed, I couldn't handle trying to solve a problem and give them advice without stressing myself to tears. At this point my mom was so worried she told me to not talk to some of my friends anymore. I would avoid them as best as I could, which didn't really feel right. But at the same time it felt like a weight had been lifted off of me, I could focus on myself instead
of some people who didn't even listen to a word I said.

Setting the Mood with Weather

     The morning was cool as the sun rose. Merlin the serving boy arrived to wake Prince Arthur up. "Rise and shine" Merlin said as he tried to rouse the Prince. As the Prince woke up he asked "Merlin, what are my morning activities for today?" "Sire, today is your anniversary" Merlin said. Arthur slithered back under the covers, "What's wrong? It's your birthday? You've got dancers,jugglers, and acrobats to entertain you! As well as a feast being held in your honor! " Merlin exclaimed. "I'm not as easily impressed as you are Merlin, and I don't have the mind of a child unlike you" Arthur retorted. Then swiftly got up to go to his dressing quarters. "Merlin muttered, yet I'm still more intelligent than you." "I heard that!" Arthur shouted. Merlin smiled to himself as he walked out of Arthur's chamber. After the princes morning activities came to a halt, he decided to go visit his father in his chambers. As Arthur proceeded to tell his father about matters of the court, his father cut in. "Today we will not be discussing matters of the court, today is the anniversary of your birth." King Uthur, Arthur's father had a smile plastered on his face.

     As the day went on clouds started to stir in the sky. The anniversary festivities continued into night fall. Everyone, knights, servants, and of course the Prince and King gathered around a large feast. They were being entertained by the acrobats, until one man called on Prince Arthur to participate in knife throwing. Eurig tied Arthur to a circle board that spun around. Right before they spun Arthur, the man put an apple in Arthur's mouth. What Arthur didn't know was that there was a sedative in the apple that would knock him out later in the night. That's when Eurig would go in to kill the Prince. After the glorious feast, Merlin walked the Prince back to his chambers. Arthur was stumbling all around, the sedative has taken its effect on him. "Looks like the ale has gotten to you tonight Sire" Merlin smirked. "Oh would you shut up Merlin" Arthur said as he tripped. Merlin caught him right before he fell. Merlin then set Arthur down on his bed and left the Prince. After Merlin had left, Arthur tried to make his way to his fathers chambers. As Arthur was sitting in a chair by his fathers bed side, he noticed in the a man holding a dagger in the reflection of the bed side mirror.Arthur drew his sword as he stood up, he was a bit shaking and unstable as he fought off Eurig. The sedative was too strong for Arthur, he toppled over. Arthur thought his life was going to be over soon, but to his surprise his Father had woken up and come to his rescue. King Uthur and Eurig were engaged in a battle, Uthur had gotten the dagger away from Eurig. He was going to kill him, but then Eurig pulled out another dagger and stabbed Uthur in the chest just as Uthur had killed Eurig. Arthur witnessed it all, he was screaming and shouting for the guards to come. He knew his Father was severely injured. The next day was a dark and stormy day, Prince Arthur had not left his fathers bed side. "My Lord, there is bleeding on the inside. You're Father will last but a few more days." said the royal physician. Tears poured down his face, as he whispered "Why father, I'm not ready to be King. I still need your guidance.  

Mind over Heart?

"I would not say he had betrayed me: but the attribute of stainless truth was gone from his idea; and from his presence I must go: that I perceived well" (Pg 331)

                        



         My drawing is Jane's brain outweighing her heart. When she finds out that Mr. Rodchester still has a wife she sits in her room with a heavy heart. After Rodchester comes into her room and they talk it through I think that Jane had already made up her mind about leaving. I truly admire her for making a decision like this. Jane is thinking about her own well being, and what's best for herself. I know that I said that Jane's brain outweighs her heart, but I did notice that she thinks with both of them. One does not over power the other when she is thinking. 

New Beginnings

I didn’t really enjoy these last few chapters. Which i just found to be so odd because i adore this book so much. Jane had finally left Thornfield and gotten away from Rodchester (thank goodness!), but a part of me just feels upset that she left. As much as i despise Rodchester and all the abusive threats he made towards Jane, I think that she made him a better person. I also just feel like she should have taken Adele with her. It just doesn't settle right with me that she left Adele alone with Rodchester. Anyways on to the really frustrating stuff, I was really scared when she decided she’d be sleeping outside and kind of living off the land. Anything could have happened to her, she eventually had to beg for food which broke my heart.

I don’t even understand how all those people could turn Jane down. All she needed was some bread to keep herself going. But then she comes across Moor House, she sees Diana and Mary on the front porch laughing and talking in German. I fell in love with them as soon as I read that page, strong sister bonds make me feel so warm and happy on the inside. There is no real way for me to explain in, but when you see sisters interacting together it’s something amazing. They bring out the best in each other, and I was so happy when Jane went to knock on their door. But when Hannah the housemaid answered the door she immediately wanted to send Jane away. That made feel so upset, how could anyone shut the door on jane and leave her in the cold rain to die!

After the door has been shut on Jane, St. John comes across her weeping on the porch. He brings her into his home (finally someone coming to their senses!!!), the two sisters nurse her back to health along with Hannah. Eventually Jane feels much better, the two sisters and Jane bond which really warmed my heart. Diana and Mary taught Jane some German, and Jane taught the girls how to draw. I honestly was very upset when I found out that that the girls were going to go Governess and not stay with Jane at the school. I absolutely adored them being all together, so much girl power. I was also really pleased when St. John gave Jane a job at the new school he was opening up. To finish things off, I really do enjoy that Jane has Rosemond to visit her often. She’s like a ray of sunshine, but I feel like Jane also needs to have someone who can keep an intellectual conversation with. Jane and Rosamond are pretty affectionate towards each other which I think they both need, because Rosamond needs someone because St. John is like a typical high school being a doof with his emotions. Jane also needs someone who will adore her and be her companion, she doesn't deserve to be lonely. One thought I keep on having is Jane, Diana, Mary, and Rosamond all being in a girl gang. Don’t deny that it crossed your mind at some point.

Me thinking about that girl gang

Gothic Elements

Charlotte Bronte uses elements from Gothic novels in Jane Eyre. These novels were popular in the late eighteenth and nineteenth century. The novels are characterized by medieval settings, supernatural events, mysterious characters, and an atmosphere of impending danger.

Jane lived in three homes so far in the novel, Gateshead, Lowood, and Thornfield Hall. Gateshead did not have much of a medieval feeling to it. After Jane arrived to Lowood I think that setting compared to Gateshead gave off more of a medieval feeling. It was very dreary when Jane first came to Lowood, it was cold and rainy. The Lowood school is a charity school for orphan girls, the girls would have to all wearing drab rough uniforms. On her first day, Jane witnesses the strict routine,teachers order the girls around in formation, students share beds in long dormitories. As for Thornfield when Jane arrived she described it as “She ushered me into a room whose double illumination of fire and candle at first dazzled me. Contrasting as it did with the darkness to which my eyes had been for two hours inured”. Jane found Thornfield to be very cosy when she first went in.

So far in this novel Jane has come across many strange happenings in Thornfield Hall. Mr. Rodchester has always seemed a bit mysterious in my eyes, from when Jane first met him up until their marriage ceremony. He has definitely been keeping a secret from Jane. Other than Mr. Rodchester there is Grace Poole. Jane has always seen Grace as a bit odd, with her strange laugh and how she lives up on the mysterious third floor all alone. As for supernatural events, the first time Jane encountered a supernatural and mysterious event was when in the dead of night she had heard “this..demoniac laugh- low, suppressed, and deep - uttered, as it seemed, at the very key-hole of my chamber-door”(pg 168). Jane was frightened to say the least, she thought the laugh sounded familiar and thought “ ‘Was that Grace Poole? and is she possessed with the devil?’ “(pg 168). Jane left her room to find that Mr. Rodchester’s room was engulfed in flames. “Tongues of flame darted round the bed: the curtains were on fire. In the midst of the blaze and vapour, Mr. Rodchester lay stretched motionless, in deep sleep” (168) after Jane doused the flames with water Rodchester went to go find Grace. After the fortune telling in the middle of the night there was yelling,Jane listened “ And overhead - yes, in the room just above my chamber-ceiling - I now heard a struggle: a deadly one it seemed from the noise; and a half-smothered voice shouted -- ‘Help! help! help!’ three times rapidly. ‘Will no one come’ it cried; and then, while the staggering and the stamping went on wildly….”(pg 232 ch 20). After that fit of screaming out in pain Mr. Rodchester got Jane and brought her up to where the yellining was coming from. “Mr. Rodchester held the candle over him; I recognized in his pale and seemingly lifeless face - the stranger, Mason. I saw too that his linen on one side , and one arm, was almost soaked in blood”(235-236). Jane was left with this mysterious man Mason and he was bleeding from his arm, Mr. Rodchester went to retrieve a Doctor to sew up Mason’s wounds. Then it was revealed that Grace Poole was the one who had injured Mason, she came after him with a knife and bit him and tried to suck his blood;  ‘She bit me,’ he murmured. ‘ She worried, me like a tigress, when Rodchester got the knife from her’”(239).

The only type of impending danger Jane was ever in was the night before her wedding. She was all alone in her room, at first she thought she was dreaming when she saw a figure with thick black hair enter her room. Thinking it was Sophie she called out her name only to find red eyes looking back at her and awful purple lips. This figure was observing her wedding attire, particularly the veil. The woman ripped Jane’s veil down the middle and threw it to the ground. The figure did nothing more than that, it did not hurt Jane. But, Jane compared the mysterious women to a vampire.

Places that have shaped me

I never really thought about what places shaped me into who I am. I'm going to start off with both sets of grandparents houses. I spent most of my childhood alternating from house to house, always visiting grandma and grandpa. My grandmother taught me how to speak Armenian, she showed me so much kindness and I wanted to be just like that. She also showed me how to appreciated people who are kind. My grandpa helped me with my confidence. When I was younger he would always take me order. Which I always hated because I was so nervous and soft spoken, but it ended up helping me.  Relating to my culture I went to a school a town over from Woburn, in Lexington there was a school called Armenian Sisters Academy. I learned more about my culture from this school. There is a bit of a down side to this school though, I was neglected in my education. I had fallen behind in my classes, my teachers did not help me when I had a question. They only seemed to pay attention to my classmates who were at a normal pace in the class. I have always been embarrassed because of how that school treated me. Around second grade I started to receive tutoring from an elementary school in Woburn. I would leave during the last class of the day to go to the White elementary school, I would go there for speech therapy, math, and English help. A year later I transferred into public school. Public school felt like a nightmare to me, none of the kids seemed really nice. There we're also a lot of kids in class, keep in mind my old class only had four kids in it. My confidence disappeared after my first year in public school. Everyone liked to pick on each other which I rarely ever saw back at my old school. I wished I was invisible, kids used to call me stupid because I was slower when learning something new. That's when I started to grow extremely sensitive to what people would say to me. I guess you could say that those kids also motivated me in some strange way, because  I gave up most of my time doing school work. I would skip recess and say after with the teacher for extra help. I just wanted to feel comfortable being in class when being called on for once. I always felt anxious in school since I was in the fourth grade. As for middle school, that just felt like a train wreck to me. It was like elementary school, but the kids were just plain evil. So I'm just going to move on to high school. I think that's where things sort of started to come together. There is a good and a bad side to high school shaping me. I feel like I have grown a little bit of a callus so things don't really hurt me or bother me as much. But, at the same time high school has caused me to have a little bit more anxiety while doing homework and projects than before.