Bad Mother

“’Do you know what this town is saying about me?’ my mother answers from above. ‘They say that my daughter is common, a slut’”

Meredith's mother is the worst mother ever, the worst mother award goes to her. While she was working sound Hampton beach during the summer she brought her daughter along with her. The mother is now with this man Peter, she is not paying attention to her children as much as she should. She broke down whatever structure they had when Meredith's parents were still together. Her mother had expectations and old rules she expected her to follow. Meredith before her pregnancy was frightened because her mother was not enforcing these rules. She was living this new life with her mother and she seemed uncomfortable about it. Meredith even mentions how she is caught between her old safe life at home and the new life which her mother is creating. Meredith had small cries for help bottled up, after her mother found out she was pregnant she just treated her so coldly. Not thinking about what her daughter must be going through, only how people in the community see her. All Meredith wanted was for someone to be there for her and support her, she just needed someone to open their arms up and hug her. Not treat her like some sort of outsider. Meredith's mother could not even comfort her own child when she was in distress.

Shunned

“Shunning is supposed to keep bad things from happening in a community.  But it doesn’t correct the life gone wrong.  It can only expose the transgression to a very raw light, use it as a measure, a warn to others…” (xi-xii).

I feel like I do understand what Hall is trying to say in this quote, they are shunning her to prove a point to other people in the community. Things travel around fast when you live in a small town, people were going to find out what Meredith has done. The people take it as a prime opportunity to use this as a lesson for the other children in the town. I keep on thinking of the Scarlet Letter when I read this quote, Hester and Meredith are in the same situation. But, Meredith is younger and she has to abandon her child due to the pressure of her family and the town that she lives in.

Home is where your heart is

"...She burst into tears and desperately wrapped her arms around him. Henry held her and told her would like nothing better than to take her with him, but...he couldn't." (128)

        Alright, so the picture I tried to draw was of Nani and Lilo from Lilo and Stich. It's from the scene when they are on the hammock and both girls are talking about family. About how Lilo misses her mom and dad, and Nani tells her that they are their own family now. They sing a song then let the flowers blow away in the wind (the flowers symbolize their parents who passed away). This reminds me of Henry and Rachel's relationship. Henry is a good man, he is Rachel's rock it seems like. He loves her even though she has this illness that causes all of society to shun you, he is a very understanding father. It is heart breaking when he finds out that she is being shipped away, that's his baby. Although I want to say the same for Rachel's mother I feel as if I cant't, she could not handle being an outcast. As for Henry it didn't matter to him, he just wanted to hug his little girl. He was thinking about her and not his reputation, I'm sure what Dorthy did had good intentions behind it but she made her daughter believe that she was abandoned. Henry never made her feel that way, to Rachel her father is hope. Him coming to visit her makes her feel so good, she has been there for two years with no visitors from her family. What I'm really trying to get at is, those big hands and small hands holding on to the flowers is basically a symbol of togetherness and hope for Rachel. No matter how far away Henry is his heart is always with his little girl, he will always find his way back to her. 

Joy Luck Club

I really enjoyed this movie, I personally love mother daughter movies. They are really underrated, each mother's back story was heartbreaking. I feel like I didn't really like Lindo and Waverly's stories as much as I liked everyone else. They really did remind me of my aunt and cousins, their relationship is purely based on the daughters achievements.My aunt just wants to brag about her daughters, what they do in school or whatever award they get in school. It's kind of frustrating to see someone do that. Mother's cannot live through their daughters. What I did notice, was that all these mother daughter relationships are all kind of common now. What I am trying to say is that all mothers are either competitive with their child, kind and loving, maybe detached from them. When Ying-ying talking about passing her sadness onto Lena that broke my heart. But she was still looking out for her daughter, she was doing her best to point her in the right direction. I actually really loved that part, because even though Lena was telling her mother she was happy Ying-ying knew. She knew that her daughter was unhappy, the balance in that home was unlucky. I was really happy with each story, they were full of emotion, and relatable moments. Every mothers wish is to give their daughter the things they never had, it reminds me of my mom. She is always trying to motivate me, and reassure me with my decisions. Mom seems to know everything, she is the only person who knows your feelings better than you do. I know that is not the case for many mother daughter relationships, but that's how I feel like I wish it was for everyone. One thing I did not like in this movie was when Lindo didn't tell June what the letter said and that her sisters didn't know that their mother had passed. Or when the older women would speak and June didn't understand. That was a bit unfair that they had that ability to talk about things in front of her without understanding. I think the best moment was the end when June gets to China and meets her older sisters. And tells them that she was there to bring them their mother's hopes. That was a big thing for me, because my own mother is always talking about how she wants her children to carry her hopes and dreams. All her hopes and dreams are about wanting her children to be successful and most of all to be genuinely happy about their lives and the decisions they make.

Found poem

Jealousy is a poison that kills you from the inside.

It clouds your mind, and heart. Blocking out what you

think is right. Creating an insecure image of yourself. I wish

I had their confidence, their knowledge, their positive view on life.

Onion Peel

If Jenny wasn't fictional this would have been my message to her!

Honestly I'm not really pleased with how this book is going so far. I want desperately for someone to give Mary a chance. I know that during that time women were not allowed to go to college to become doctors. I feel like Mary craves more than being a midwife, she knows she has the ability to become something more. The fact that even her mother isn't empowering her pains me. I think about times with my own mother, she is always trying to empower me to do more challenging things. But then I see Amelia Sutter just saying 'oh better stick to being a midwife'... I know she is just looking out for her daughter. Back during the Civil War I know that being a doctor was a 'boys club' thing, but Mary had the qualifications for it.

What would have happened if I came across Jenny

She had this burning passion to gain more knowledge on the human body, she also kept on trying to get into that college. It really irritated me when they denied her, it just makes my stomach turn. Mary deserves so much better, I just want for someone to notice her talent. I know that she has a bit of a temper, but who can blame her! Mary is surrounded by people who want to keep her in her place, with a 'woman's job'. Mary's sister Jenny really bothers me, she's not a real sister. Jenny is such a jerk towards her twin, honestly it makes me so mad. As you know I have an older sister, she might be five years older than me but we are as thick as thieves. We support each other in everything, and help one another. I tried to imagine my sister and myself in Mary and Jenny's place. Let's just say I almost had a panic attack, how could someones twin treat them so poorly? This is the exact quote that really created me extremely passionate hatred for Jenny, "Mary, you have everything. Do you see? I'm a shadow. I haunt our house, I watch you go off wherever it is you go. You understand things. Women respect you. They come and ask for you. ...Thomas married me. Not you". Wow! Come on, you are jealous of your sister going out and doing a job she enjoys? So you steal her man, then marry him?! In my eyes, what Jenny should have done was ask her sister to teach her what she knows. Why does there always have to be a man that gets in the middle of everything. It just breaks my heart, I feel like Jenny just wants to get back at Mary. That's super immature of her though, my sister and I always talk things through. Mary and Jenny don't communicate. I'm just so mad that Jenny had to turn this into something else...then she finds out she's pregnant? There she finally got her shining moments, marrying her sisters first love and being pregnant with that man's child. This whole books feels like a  down hill roller costar, hopefully that doesn't last for long. I feel like it has been an unhappy slope, I just keep getting more and more frustrated. I adore Mary so much, I want her to be my sister. I want to take her from the novel, bring her home and treat her the way she deserves. Then she can finally have good sisters! Or actually I would also love for her to join that girl gang. The one with  Jane and the Rivers sisters, I think it would be a perfect fit!

Under Pressure

           Recently in many relationships I have taken on the role of care taker/ therapist, big sister, mother hen, or whatever you would like to call it. From a young age I had always wanted to help people, especially my friends. I didn't really expect it to turn out like this, it's not with one specific friendship that this has happened in multiple ones. It was really hard because although I wanted to be that shoulder to lean on, it felt more like I was being used. I was like some sort of emotional outlet for them, when they needed to dump hard problems on someone and ask for advice I was the person they came to. They asked for advice, and this might seem weird coming form me because it's 'not humble', but I give decent advice. They all seem to need something from me all the time and I couldn't always offer it. I tend to stress over other people's feelings more than my own, which is pretty unhealthy, but It got to the point where I didn't care about my own feelings because i was worrying about other people being happy.

        How i felt while trying to comfort my friends when I got emotional!
(Don't worry this is trying to brighten the mood, it's supposed to
now tat its all over!!)

           I never really gave myself a break, and so much was expected out of me from my friends because they would come to me so often with problems. I didn't think about my own well being because I was only thinking about my friends. They all knew I was working on trying to be less of a pushover, I started to feel like they were taking advantage of me. I didn't really feel as happy as I used to after I realized what was going on. I felt less like myself everyday after that, I was just giving help and advice to people who wouldn't even listen to it. At some point I was really being treated as more of a therapist than a friend. It was just rough all around, I felt like if I stopped helping my friends they wouldn't want to hang out with me anymore. Which seems silly, but growing up with some of my friends none of them really seemed to take notice to me unless I was able to offer something to them. I just really wanted them to be my friends, but that's not what makes a good friendship at all. I couldn't even find away to tell them that I no longer wanted to be this 'therapist and emotional outlet' I just felt like I was stuck. I was being suffocated in the middle of all of their problems. I couldn't solve them, I couldn't even solve my own problems.
           As you may already know I am a very sensitive person, well scratch that. I am really overly sensitive, and extremely emotional. So the more they told me harsh and emotional problems, I would breakdown. I was so embarrassed, I couldn't handle trying to solve a problem and give them advice without stressing myself to tears. At this point my mom was so worried she told me to not talk to some of my friends anymore. I would avoid them as best as I could, which didn't really feel right. But at the same time it felt like a weight had been lifted off of me, I could focus on myself instead
of some people who didn't even listen to a word I said.